


Major Dork

by Kessper



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nebulous Post Game AU, Stridercest - Freeform, Stridercest Giftswap 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:40:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28495482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kessper/pseuds/Kessper
Summary: Dirk tries something new and exciting for the first time, it goes about as well as expected.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Dirk Strider
Kudos: 13
Collections: Stridercest Secret Santa





	Major Dork

While staring at the bottle of lube, Dirk had to wonder if he’d made a mistake. He wanted to fuck, wanted to get dicked down to get his head out his ass for once, but it seemed a monumental task. He’d never bottomed before, not really since he’d always thought the implicit control of topping was something he needed as well as wanted. But, then Dave had, half-jokingly, asked if he could top him, and the idea had sounded wonderful. Backed up by an undercurrent of guilt for being such a stubborn, narcissistic, control freak, and he hadn’t hesitated to agree. Who’d have thought he could tie himself into such knots, twisting himself around Dave’s fingers?

Shame for his eagerness tried to churn his guts as he continued to stare, but there was no room alongside all the dread. He should call this off, tell Dave he’d changed his mind, but he’d be disappointed, blame himself and maybe even lose trust in him, if not laugh. He could stand that even less than the soft knot already in his stomach because he still wasn’t sure what he’d done to earn his trust. Oh, sure, Dave had explained to and reassured him, but it didn’t feel real. Sometimes, he even wondered if that time on the rooftop, just before the final battle, had been real. That was stupid; of course it had been real, but he was his own worst enemy. In a lot of ways, he was lucky; he could have turned out so much worse. If he hadn’t had that conversation, hadn’t taken the first step toward becoming someone better, he didn’t have to imagine where he would end up.

“-to Major Dork. Over”

Dirk blinked owlishly at the sentence fragment, his gaze a thousand yards long.

“I said, ground control to Major Dork. Over.”

“NASA could communicate with more than one person at a time. We don’t need to use over.”

“Fuck you, I’m using it anyway. Over.”

Well, he couldn’t argue that. Or, he could, but time had proven that it was an exercise in futility, as Dave was almost uniquely capable of calling out his bullshit. In fact, he’d probably been doing so just now, but he’d been too self-involved to notice. 

“What do you want, Houston. Over.”

“I could ask you the same thing, Major Dork. Do we have a problem? Over.”

“No, Houston, we don’t have a problem. Over”

“Bullfuck. Dirk, y’all were just staring like you were about to demand I decapitate you, but like, not jokingly like you usually do. Over.”

“Bold of you to assume I was joking. Over”

“Bold, but right. If you thought you needed it done, your vibes would be totally different. Don’t lie, I’ve been there, done that, so what up, bro? And yes, before you ask, we’re not doing that over thing anymore. Since I’m sure you didn’t know, what was only used when one person could speak at a time, and NASA has been brought into the 21st century, the 23rd, and the 21st again, so obviously they can handle multiple lines.”

“I had no idea. I guess you really do learn something new every day. But seriously though, nothing is the matter, I was just thinking.”

“I could smell the wood burning, yeah. So, don’t give me that either, you’re always thinking, the question is, what were you thinking about?”

Dirk could avoid this topic forever, or at least until Dave put his shirt back on, and the mood was ruined, or he could fess up. The second option seemed almost infinitely more comfortable, but he could hear the worry in his brother’s tone. He took a deep sigh and heaved it out. Dave gave him the puppy eyes in return, which were evident even behind the shades.

“I just- Never really bottomed before. I never thought I needed to or wanted to until you asked me because I never thought it was my thing. But, you were so excited about the idea, I didn’t want to let you down again.”

“Insert John Mulaney quote here, because we don’t have time to get into specifics with how much BS you’re spewing. Like, damn, where do I even begin? That you never bottomed before? That you never thought it was for you? That you were excited to have me top you, or that you were afraid you were going to let me down? Actually, scratch that, choice made. Let’s focus on that last bit. What the fuck were you planning to do to not let me down. Like, if I hadn’t called you out.”

“Had sex, of course.”

Now it was Dave’s turn to stare. But, rather than a thousand-yard stare, his expression read somewhere between guilt and disgust. It was a look Dirk knew well, so he knew Dave was turning those emotions inward. But why? He didn’t have anything to feel ashamed of. “Dave?” 

“I don’t want to have sex with you because it’s a favor!” He blurted out. “Yes, I was excited. It’s sex, it’s sexing up you, what’s not to be excited about? But like, it ain’t going to be the end of the world if you didn’t want it. I’m not that much of an asshole. I can stand to hear the word no. I’m not going to think less of ya because you don’t fucking want to take my dick, man. And, I definitely don’t want to hear you were going to have sex with me even though you didn’t really want it. Like, holy fuck, I want to put myself in the jails which don’t even exist just thinking about that.”

Well, when Dave put it like that, he felt like even more of an ass. Feeling deflated and worse than ever, he half collapsed onto the bed. How could he have been so stupid?! He was supposed to be the genius here, not the idiot who all but tricked someone into having sex with him. How had he not seen what he was doing, or how much it would bother Dave? He had thought he had been getting better, had thought he’d been making real progress, but here he was back at square one, assuming he knew what was best for everyone and going through with those assumptions. He hadn’t changed at all, had he? 

“I’m sorry, Dave, I was right before; I’m just not any good.”

“Wow, I thought I heard too much bullshit to unpack before, but that really takes the celebratory bakery treat. Dirk, for what should have been the last fucking time, a hundred fucking times ago, you’re not him, bro. You’re not my brother, never were, never will be. An alternate self does not a you make, no matter what your poofy pants godtier says. And, yes, I know, you fucked up in your own life too, but guess what? We all have. Rose is married to an actual murderer. Which, yeah, had some extenuating circumstances, but my point still stands. Everything you’re blaming yourself for is forgivable. You are forgiven. And not by just me, but by all your friends. I know for a fact things are good between you, Roxy, Jane and Jake. It’s adorable when y’all talk. Shit wouldn’t be like that if things weren’t kosher between you. That’s something else I know for a fact because I heard how shit went down when it wasn’t copacetic. So, give yourself a break Dirk. Every little mistake isn’t the end of the world because you were the one to make it.”

Teary-eyed, Dirk watched as Dave plopped down beside him, his righteous anger spent almost as quickly as it had come. He looked thoughtful and worried now, but this time for him. Dave would still feel disgusted at himself, no doubt, but it seemed he’d worked the worst of it out, for now. “That’s news to me, but I’ll keep it in mind. It’d be nice to be able to disassemble the emergency guillotine.’

“You are such an ass. Seriously Dirk, don’t fucking do that to yourself because you’re doing that to me too. You’re doing it to all of us. I know it’s easier said than done, but do try to accept that I love you, your friends love you, and we want what’s best for you, so if you were going off the deep end, we’d be there to put you ass back into the kiddie pool.”

“I love you too, Dave, and I really will remember that. Are you going to be okay?”

“Already there, bro. Feeling good that this didn’t go further and that you told me like it is. So, how are you feeling now? Still wanna have sex?”

Once again, he didn’t have to think of the answer. “Yeah, I do. And, I even want you to top me still, but not as a favor. It’s something I’m legit excited for, but nervous too. But, I’m pretty sure everyone is nervous the first time they lose their virginity.”

“I’m not sure you can lose that when you’ve already had sex.”  
“Just watch me."


End file.
